I sent CC+4 who is now CC-450 a courtesy email yesterday to see how an appt. went because that’s what friends do and blah blah whatever who cares right? right. HOWEVER it reminded me of THIS POST which I never published. But it’s a GGGRRRRR-ATE! one so please enjoy.
March 23, 2009
Ordinarily I would forward music onto CC-450 HOWEVER I’m afraid he may believe that a song is like the second witness signature (next to the kiss) on the contract for marriage? Say what? Are you confused yet? me too.
Someone, who will remain nameless but has 2 “C”s and a “-450″ in his code name, ACTUALLY ASKED ME, “You’re not like the type of girl who like… well you don’t think … I mean you don’t think if you kiss a guy it means … umm … like you’re not one of those girls that thinks a kiss means like marriage are you?”
[pause. long pause.]
[pause some more. look to the side quizzically.]
[look straight again. what did he just say?]
You’re not the type of girl who thinks a kiss is a contract for marriage are you?
Whew. I thought maybe he said something else. Glad we got that straight.
Umm hello! OF COURSE I THINK A KISS IS A CONTRACT FOR MARRIAGE! And this is why, in pursuit of my dream to be the world’s most famous bigamist, I made sure to kiss him, Adorable Boy, Glitter Boy and another boy who will remain nameless all within the same week. GASP! DAISY!!! You kiss slut!!! How do you live with yourself?? Hey you – yeah YOU – the one judging me – I think that’s just about enough out of you. It wasn’t PLANNED – I mean – wait - just kidding. It WAS PLANNED because hello? How am I going to score myself 40 husbands unless I start knocking off those kiss contracts as quickly as possible?
(Though in all fairness to my image, I didn’t kiss any other boys in the northern hemisphere after I kissed CC-450. No no – I’m a reformed kiss slut. [insert I can't believe I'm writing this])
Wow – ok you still with me? We’re getting close to the end.
Now look … I’m feeling guilty generous, so although I WAS going to count all of the ways in which what he said to me was like the WORST THING TO SAY TO A GIRL EVER (which would have been like a 12km long list) instead let’s just say – he shattered my dreams. Darn it! I’m going to have to rethink EVERYTHING now. If kissing boys doesn’t insure me those illustrious rings so many girls are chasing after – what do I do now?
Oh – oh hold up! Wait wait. Just had a thought! this is a good one. And I swear this is almost over.
Before I go doubting myself just because some boy wanted to make sure I know he isn’t interested in the R word [insert gee really? thanks mr. obvious] … let’s think back.
Oh yes! Yes I remember now!
I don’t have to have a broken heart quite yet. I remember now. I DID get a memo on how kissing IS a contract for marriage. WAHOO!!!
He’s the one who is wrong.
Nice! Score at LEAST one for Daisy!! I’ll have to forward him the memo along with another sweet song. I’m pretty sure a diamond ring should come by FedEx in like at most a week right?