Category Archives: Attitude is everything

If you haven’t done it – do it. and Tip One – Finding inner happiness

3 Replies

Ok so I’m trying not to give up hope yet … but I was only down by 800 yesterday – today I’m down by 1000.  The odds are most definitely NOT in my favor however I’ve started – and there’s no point stopping until it’s over right?  :)  Sure I started 2 weeks late – and THANK YOU for the 500+ votes I’ve received over the past week!!!  But unless I start pulling 200 votes+ a day – I’m not going to catch up.  Sooo…. if you haven’t voted yet today – if you haven’t asked your blog readers to vote – if you haven’t thrown out a tweet or a FB status update – please, please do!!  :)  I’m almost at 100 votes a day – and if all of my voters get just ONE MORE PERSON to vote – voila! 200+ votes a day. :)

Vote for Me
Good Mood Gig from SAM-e

AAANNNDDD I kind of think that maybe even if I don’t get the job – I think dedicating one day a week to writing about finding and maintaining inner happiness might be a great way to go.  Sometimes I wish I didn’t know much about the subject (only because I learned about it the hard way) but other times I’m grateful when I can share a few words with someone in need.

Finding inner happiness – part 1

Have you ever felt free?  Free from the pressures of work. Free from the pressures of family, society, money,etc.?    Have you ever thought, “I never want this moment to end” ??

Take a moment today and relive that experience.  Take a moment and feel where you were – what you were doing – the sounds, sights, smells.  Maybe you were catching a nice wave while surfing.  Maybe your cat sat purring in your lap.  Maybe it was while you played a musical instrument, or it was after a long day of work and you were chilling on your bed with your feet up.  :) Maybe it was outside when you eyes beheld breathtaking beauty.  A waterfall, a peaceful spring, seeing a wild dolphin swim next to you.  Maybe it was beauty from the heart – coming home to a big happy hug from your adorable child.  Or maybe – just maybe – if you were me – you were laying outside under a big willow tree with two beautiful dogs by your side watching the clouds go by.

You don’t have to be doing anything “special” to experience this escape.  You simply have to live.

Stop the torrent of thoughts scrambling around in your mind.  Set aside your worries for 10 minutes.  Breathe.  Look.  See.  Feel.  And then?  And then take a big sigh and smile.

happy day!!!Our actions may not be directly related to the patterns of our thoughts and changing our thinking doesn’t ensure change in behavior.

On the other hand, our thoughts are most certainly directly affected by our actions.  And if we choose to act in ways we may not feel (if we try to attempt happiness when we are sad),  if we keep this up, eventually the thoughts will follow.   Maybe we can’t let go of it all today – maybe there is just too much stress.  Ok.  That’s ok.  Go back in time and relive a prior experience.  Remember how it felt.  Feel it again.

Sigh and let the world go for one minute.  Then smile and feel the energy around you.  Laugh.  Love.  Live.

It only takes a moment.  Try it today.

Live in the moment and your memories will last forever

1 Reply

The future is not entirely within our control. We can shape and mold, hope and pray, but the future is never certain. What will tomorrow bring? Where will I be in a year? Who will leave my life? Who will enter?

It’s exciting and overwhelming. The options are endless and the possibilities are likely beyond our scope of imagination.

Daunting? yes.

Lucky for us – we can choose HOW we look at the future and we can choose optimism OR pessimism. We have a choice. And we can prepare for the worst while hoping for the best.

And though we may not get to pick the story of our MadLib game – we get to pick adjectives, adverbs, pronouns, and verbs.

“”"(insert name) was so lucky to go to a/an (insert sport) game. He/she was (insert emotion) even though his/her (insert food) dropped and landed right on his/her (insert body part.)”"”

(btw – if you don’t get this MadLib reference/metaphor – you missed a great part of being a kid! :) )

September 14th is a bittersweet day.

A few years ago I always planned on phone calls, birthday dinners and/or birthday FUN around the 14th. Now? Well now my brother isn’t around to celebrate birthdays. So those plans, along with hopes for the future, dreams of having same aged kids and huge family reunions with a genius brother whose style was impeccable and grammar was without reproach are all gone.

But want to know what isn’t gone?? My memories.

That’s right – and barring brain disease or injury – NO ONE can take away my memories. I’ll have them for as long as I live. And this September 14th I relived a few memories. And I’m so grateful that I have GREAT memories on which to reflect.

We don’t know what will happen tomorrow – but if we live TODAY and every day to its full potential then tomorrow – no matter what happens, we’ll always be able to remember yesterday with fondness.

Paradigm Shifts – Half-full cups sound better (plus pics plus sweet cover song)

3 Replies

When I began this post I was going to title it “What I’m missing out on.” But then I stopped.

Yes – it’s true – I DID miss out on the family party shown below (pics courtesy of my older brother and father) but labeling it as “what I’m missing” makes it bittersweet.  And quite frankly – though I LOVE dark chocolate, I like my life to be a bit more on the sugary side. :)   So INSTEAD – let me show you what I have to look forward to in about 4.5 months.  :)

This Smile

dsc_6184

These Puppies

dsc_6229

My precious nieces

dsc_6265

Family Fun

dsc_6311

Bocce Ball

dsc_6405

Giggles and puppy play

img_3040

Unconditional Love

img_3046

That’s right – I have a whole lot of GOOD to look forward to – and although I may be missing out on some of it at the moment – it will be waiting for me when I finish here in Australia.

My adviser has been talking to me a lot about refocusing unconscious situational judgments.

I do it ALL of the time.  “Ooh – I missed out on that” instead of “Sweet! I can’t wait for next time!”  Or “Last semester SUCKED!” instead of “Last semester was a good growing experience.” AAANNNDDD I refer to 6 months ago as “when I was fat” when I only weighed 7lbs more than I do now!!  Problems??  I think so.

My adviser ALSO talked to me about learning to FEEL small emotions instead of rationalizing them away.

I’m the queen of logic.  Yes-sir-ee-bob! I sure am!  And guess what??

Emotions aren’t logical!!

So although I tease a lot about “hating” this or being “bugged” by that – I usually rationalize away my feelings and never take the time to ACCEPT that I feel this way.  It’s ok if this sounds confusing – it is.  :)   But the jist of it is that although I use exaggerated negative language to describe situations – I never actually ACKNOWLEDGE my feelings about the situation.  Of course exaggerations aren’t to be taking seriously and I never take my feelings that seriously either.

Anyway – I’m now working on this … and I’m just OVERJOYED about it.  ;)   HAHAHAHAHA!  teasing.

oh and I’m sorry if I haven’t commented for awhile!!  I am still a faithful reader to the people I follow – I just haven’t had time to comment. :)   I will be fixing this!!

Day 39-41
39/365 waiting for class

40/365 carpet in old teacher's college

41/365 - Rozelle - old mental hospital

Bleeding Love COVER by Mystery Jets – LOVE IT!!

Overcoming Despair

3 Replies

Yesterday I read a blog which expressed feelings I know all too well.

Why is THIS all worth it?  Why??

(You can substitute the word THIS for many, many things – having your heart broken, deciding to get a much-needed divorce, working through your problems with a friend, recovering from an eating disorder, recovering from depression, dealing with hardships of school, life and life’s hardships in general, being nice to people who are mean, working at a crap job, etc – I think most people have a THIS – and what I’m about to say should apply to most of it.)

So seriously – Why is THIS all worth it?  Why are these challenges and heartaches worth it?? Why bother??

The blog I read was searching for meaning in the hardship – a meaning for the end result – a meaning for the acceptance/recovery/healing/hardwork.  And that’s when I found myself answering a question I’ve so often asked myself – why is it worth it?  Why continue?  Why push on?  Why NOT give up??  Well … because:

It IS worth it – but you have to change the goal.

Here’s an elaborated version of the comment I left:

camelias

When I start thinking about it all being ‘worth it’ then – if I’m not careful – I quickly revert back to old habits or want to give up. I KNOW what I’m getting myself into with old habits – but who knows what the future holds?  The future could be WORSE. – or it could be just as bad – but with a lot of extra heartache.

It is then – when I’m lucky and am able to step back a bit from my troubles – that I look at that question a little more closely.

Who knows what the future holds??

No one. And isn’t that a grand thing?

The future is ours for the shaping.

You have to have an AUNT to have toes like this ;)

Maybe the goal shouldn’t be the end result or finish line.  Maybe we should stop looking at “when I finally recover” or “when I finally leave him” or “eventually I’ll be over my eating disorder.” Sure it’s good to have hope for a brighter tomorrow – but life is about so much more than this.

Life is the experiences along the way – the detours, the speed bumps and sometimes?

Sometimes life is even about the stop signs.

dsc01688

Look – I’m not saying life is great.  Life kinda sucks!!  And I DEFINITELY haven’t wanted many of the experiences I’ve had – image issues, divorce, the death of loved ones… and has any of that been “worth it”??  H.E.DOUBLE NO.  or for those of you who don’t speak fake swear words – that’s a big HELL NO.

But that’s when my conscience kicks in with an old saying:

“Life isn’t about learning to weather the storms – it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

Colors in the Rain

We can’t control all of the storms that come our way – but we can control our attitude and our courage. If the point of it all is not recovery in itself but instead the challenge of accepting these trials while smiling through them – even when you want to give up – well that right there is something.
I totally understand the whole – “Yeah but WHY would I choose to go through this when I don’t HAVE to?”
WWWWEEELLLLL – life is about progressing – stagnancy gets you no where. :) You won’t learn a whole lot if you wallow in your misery or give up.  But if you move forward:
you challenge yourself,
you learn,
you grow,

you LIVE.

WHY BOTHER??
Because it’s a challenge, an opportunity for learning and growth and a way to experience life and ALL of life’s emotional intensity. It’s not about the destination – no no – it’s about the journey. And if you make the JOURNEY the meaning – then regardless of the outcome – it WILL be worth it.

rainbow

Pics of the day – 9, 10 and 11

9/365 - Love my new Pashminetta!!

10/365 - public transportation - Sydney Train

11/365 - waiting at the train station

Letter from my Conscience – Horoscope Day #I can’t believe I’ve done it for this long #1

1 Reply

Dear Daisy,

Hello!  It’s your conscience here – but you PROLLY already knew that.  It’s just … well … I hate to interrupt your normal bloginess but … well … we need to talk.  You know your little horoscope project?  The one that you were like, “OMGOSH THIS IS SO SUPER EXCITING – I’m going to do it for A WHOLE MONTH.”  Yeah – that project.

I’m just a conscience so I won’t tell you this was a great idea in theory but a crap idea at the beginning of a semester – no no – I’ll just stick to what is RIGHT and what is WRONG.  Ok ok – actually I’m just going to stick with what is WRONG.

Umm Hello??  Who woke up on the crabby side of the bed today??  And then blared “hot dog” by Limp Bizkit on repeat because it’s a REALLY angry song??  I know – you listened to Linkin Park, NIN and Papa Roach too … but you get what I’m saying.

Today’s task was ” … is not about escaping from your daily routine; it’s about developing a more spiritual approach to what you must do.”

Now tell me Daisy – do you think Limp Bizkit and hearing the F word screamed like 40 kajillionbillion times helped you develop a more spiritual approach??

Moving on … I was proud of you for answering the phone when No. Sydney called – but you could have handled the fact THAT HE ONLY CALLED YOU BECAUSE HE NEEDED TECHNICAL WEB HELP better.  Did you REALLY need to switch to depressing music and listen to THAT on repeat too??

I think you went into today’s horoscope with a negative attitude (for proof please see your post yesterday) AAANNNDDD I think you shouldn’t do that again.  You’re never going to achieve the random wisdom/growth you were hoping a project like this could provide give you if you HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE!!!

SHAPE UP!!

Sincerely yours,

~Your Conscience

HOLY CRAP is my conscience mean or what?? So to help me snap out of my funk – I went to class and really tried to EXPERIENCE class.  My teacher is crazy – I took lots of notes – and I even played a game of Hangman – why?  Because life is about living, loving and laughing :) And living means being PRESENT – so I was present in class – and felt the feelings of the first day of school, noticed my friends in class, remembered what it felt like to be in high school.  And when I took a bathroom break and had to walk down a long corridor which was TWENTY DEGREES COLDER than my classroom – then walk down a weird dingy and poorly lit staircase to get to the bathroom … and when inside of the bathroom it was dark, old and there were small child sized watering cans in every stall … and the water to wash up was placed at a level below my knees … I experienced it.  I imagined the ghosts haunting the halls – I shivered – I lived.

Today did have a rough start.  And to be honest – it’s had a rough ending as well.  But I FELT my day today.  And as much as my conscience would like to say I did a half-assed job – at the end of the day I think experiencing life at a heightened sense of perception/observation/feeling surprisingly satisfies my horoscope.

Today – I LIVED

for better and for worse.

Day 5/365
5/365 Tell me again - Why is it I need a Boyfriend??

The post that never was, closure w/CC+4 and yay for friends!!!

2 Replies

Have you ever written a blog post only to find it mysteriously disappeared??  That happened to me yesterday – it was a big sucks.  I explained how I finally got closure on CC+4 and I told a snotty/funny story which can’t be recreated so to sum up the gossip – he basically informed me that WITH ME he was only looking for a good time – say WHAT??  Niiiiiicccccceeeeee.  And I call bull-crap!  Why?  Because he also confessed a while back that the reason he stopped talking to me last semester was because he was looking for MORE and he thought I was only looking for a good time.   But WHAT.EV.ER.  I suppose if we’re making attempts to be happyhappyjoyjoy we could be grateful for the closure. YAY FOR CLOSURE!!!

or something like that …

Do things happen for a reason?

Who knows for sure – but looking back on the past year of my life I can tell you I can kind of see how lucky I am to have had the trials and difficulties I once hated.  It’s been a crazy path – a tearful journey – and also lots of fun!!!  I’ve grown so much – even my family has noticed!!  And I want to give a shout out to all of my bloggy friends, all of my new friends in Sydney, all of my old friends in Utah and … I think it’s time to give a special shout out to North Sydney – my BFF in Australia.

Thank you – all of you!!

You make my life brighter. :)

And now – back to that special shout out to my Aus-BFF … remember CommitmentPhobe?  No?  That’s ok.  He was the first man to sweep me off my feet in Australia.  Charming – hot – romantic – I was scared and when he gave me flowers I left them at his house. GASP!!!!  Daisy how could you??

I know – I know … but I was scared.  I wasn’t ready for a relationship and really?  He wasn’t either.  So we became friends.  And now?  One whole year later we’re the best of friends.  I absolutely adore him.  And it’s driving me crazy that I haven’t seen him for FIVE WEEKS!!!  FIVE WEEKS!!!!  I think it bothered him as well … not only did he complain about the length of my trip but he scheduled my first Saturday night home well in advance.  lol.  I talked to him yesterday (the day I arrived) and I told him I want as much of his Saturday as I can have.  He laughed – but I think he feels the same way.

Friends and family are the spice of life – they give a dreary day a spark of color, a dash of flavor/flavour.

And you know what?  That’s something to smile about.

dsc01368dsc01389dsc01179

Destination unknown

2 Replies

Colors in the Rain“If it’s a pleasant road I don”t care where it leads.”
~Henry James ~ “A Portrait of a Lady”

I was pretty down on myself for not having a concrete 5 year plan.  So – I created one this past week.  And then I remembered the reason why I didn’t have one in the first place!!  lol.

Haha!  Just teasing.  It surely IS useful to have a general idea about where one would like to be in the future.  And I think it would be terrible to pick a path that leads to a terrible outcome.  The journey is often more important than the destination – but if that journey leads you to the middle of the desert, 1000 miles away from the nearest living person, with no cellphone, no food, no water and no transportation – well that journey is what I like to call a WASTE OF TIME!

or is it?

What if you had one crazy wild ride to get there?  What if in the course of your trip to the desert you found true love and had accomplished all of your life goals?  Sure you are there – in the middle of nowhere – but you’ve fulfilled your life’s purpose – you can rest in peace.  And if that’s the case, maybe it wasn’t a waste of time at all.

Sure so ok – I now have a 5 year plan.  I have goals and a bit of direction.  But the reality is that as long as I’m following my heart and the road is pleasant – I think I’m inclined to agree with Henry James.  I don’t care where I end up as long as I am making the most of what I’m given along the way.

My latest “Aha!” moment – I’m going on a fast from advice about FEELINGS

2 Replies

I Heart 22 “Aha!” moments.  (which should be read as  “I heart squared” for those of you who don’t speak emoticon. ;) and omgosh – I double Heart 22 + extra that I learned the html code for superscript!!! ;) YAY! )  ANYWAY …

I really do HEART Heart 22 squared “Aha!” moments.  It’s like having a dirty window suddenly wiped clean with windex.  And I probably should have been more poetic.  How about this.  It was as if her thick mask of confusion was suddenly whisked away.  A new world was opened and she could see her past mistakes with a sharper clarity than she had dared to hope.  Tomorrow would be different.  Tomorrow she would face the world with a new perspective.  A perspective that would grant her greater freedom to trust herself and arm her with the tools …. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!   just kidding.

But seriously – drama aside – that kinda IS what my “aha!” moment did for me.  ;) And it was ALL thanks to my mom. YAY for moms!  She helped me figure out 2 things.

1. Even though it’s great that I ask for advice and am always looking for better ways to BE, I need to stop.  EVERYONE has a different opinion.  EVERYONE has different advice.  And I will ALWAYS be “wrong” if I’m trying to BE everyone’s ideals at once.

2.  Most of my friends are boys and well …  Mom put it best: “Stop letting boys tell you how to be a girl!”

SO – For the next 36 days I’m going on a fast.  A fast from advice about feelings.  It’s time to stop holding myself to other people’s standards – especially when those standards are from a BOY.  I’m a girl. (no really?) and more than that – I’m ME.  Daisy.  A procrastinating, obsessive over-achiever who is a bit over-zealous, a touch too exuberant, addicted to chocolate and who over-shares and talks a lot.  :) :) I’m not perfect.  And I’m an INTENSE person.  I FEEL things intensely.  It’s who I am – it’s part of me.  I can’t be anyone else and I can’t feel anyone else’s feelings.  The only person who can really tell me how I should feel is ME.

And I feel pretty good about that.

113

“Far far, there’s this little girl, she was praying for something to happen to her.  Everyday she writes words and more words just to spit out the thoughts that keep floating inside.

“How can you stay outside?  There’s a beautiful mess inside.

“Far far, there’s this little girl, she was praying for something good to happen to her. From time to time there are colors and shapes, dazzling her eyes, tickling her hands. They invent her a new world.

“How can you stay outside? There’s a beautiful mess inside.

“Far far there’s this little girl, she was praying for something big to happen to her.  Every night she hears beautiful strange music, it’s everywhere. There’s nowhere to hide.

“Just look at yourself now, deep inside, deeper than you ever dared.
There’s a beautiful mess inside.”

~Yael Naim ~ “Far Far”

[vodpod id=ExternalVideo.803442&w=425&h=350&fv=playerID%3D1%26bg%3D0xCDDFF3%26leftbg%3D0x357DCE%26lefticon%3D0xF2F2F2%26rightbg%3D0x64F051%26rightbghover%3D0x1BAD07%26righticon%3D0xF2F2F2%26righticonhover%3D0xFFFFFF%26text%3D0x357DCE%26slider%3D0x357DCE%26track%3D0xFFFFFF%26border%3D0xFFFFFF%26loader%3D0xAF2910%26soundFile%3Dhttp%253A%2F%2Fmaren.ru%2Fmp3%2Fyael_naim-far_far.mp3]

more about “Yael Naim – Far far: Free MP3 Download“, posted with vodpod