Category Archives: Fate – Destiny – whatever – Some things happen for a reason

Horoscopes every day for a month – letting others dictate my adventures

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I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time – and as they say – there’s no time like the present!  :)

How does it work?

Well – I’m going to have my horoscope emailed and tweeted to me everyday in August (in addition to the horoscope on my lovely myyahoo.com page.  Then I’m going to take the advice and see if I can MAKE what they say happen – every day – for one whole month.

Want to play along?

That’d be sweet!!!  But I understand if you’re not interested.  IF YOU DO follow along but don’t want to blog about it – please share in the comments – otherwise I’m sure I’ll read it on your blog (that is if anyone else is crazy enough to do this with me.)  :)

HOROSCOPE – AUGUST 1 – Pisces

“Uncontrollable passions could blast to the surface today, turning every interaction into an intense battlefield. Or your deep feelings could lead you into a magically profound dance with someone you love. Either way, this is not a lighthearted time, for it seems as if everyone is playing for keeps. Naturally, no one wants to lose, but the only way to assure a positive outcome for all involved is to change the rules of the game to make it noncompetitive”

SOUNDS EXCITING!!!!! I can’t WAIT to see how this plays out with my interaction with North Sydney this afternoon … or maybe even with Captain Charisma later in the evening!!

To be continued … end of day tomorrow – I’ll let you know how my horoscope goes.

KEYWORDS/PHRASES

I need to maintain a NON-competitive spirit and respect that my passions are at full height (roll my eyes.)  But the encouraging part?  Dance with someone I love?  I don’t see North Sydney as the dancing type … and Captain Charisma?  I doubt it.  OOOH maybe tomorrow will be an explosive battlefield or someone new!!  Can’t wait to find out!!!

The post that never was, closure w/CC+4 and yay for friends!!!

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Have you ever written a blog post only to find it mysteriously disappeared??  That happened to me yesterday – it was a big sucks.  I explained how I finally got closure on CC+4 and I told a snotty/funny story which can’t be recreated so to sum up the gossip – he basically informed me that WITH ME he was only looking for a good time – say WHAT??  Niiiiiicccccceeeeee.  And I call bull-crap!  Why?  Because he also confessed a while back that the reason he stopped talking to me last semester was because he was looking for MORE and he thought I was only looking for a good time.   But WHAT.EV.ER.  I suppose if we’re making attempts to be happyhappyjoyjoy we could be grateful for the closure. YAY FOR CLOSURE!!!

or something like that …

Do things happen for a reason?

Who knows for sure – but looking back on the past year of my life I can tell you I can kind of see how lucky I am to have had the trials and difficulties I once hated.  It’s been a crazy path – a tearful journey – and also lots of fun!!!  I’ve grown so much – even my family has noticed!!  And I want to give a shout out to all of my bloggy friends, all of my new friends in Sydney, all of my old friends in Utah and … I think it’s time to give a special shout out to North Sydney – my BFF in Australia.

Thank you – all of you!!

You make my life brighter. :)

And now – back to that special shout out to my Aus-BFF … remember CommitmentPhobe?  No?  That’s ok.  He was the first man to sweep me off my feet in Australia.  Charming – hot – romantic – I was scared and when he gave me flowers I left them at his house. GASP!!!!  Daisy how could you??

I know – I know … but I was scared.  I wasn’t ready for a relationship and really?  He wasn’t either.  So we became friends.  And now?  One whole year later we’re the best of friends.  I absolutely adore him.  And it’s driving me crazy that I haven’t seen him for FIVE WEEKS!!!  FIVE WEEKS!!!!  I think it bothered him as well … not only did he complain about the length of my trip but he scheduled my first Saturday night home well in advance.  lol.  I talked to him yesterday (the day I arrived) and I told him I want as much of his Saturday as I can have.  He laughed – but I think he feels the same way.

Friends and family are the spice of life – they give a dreary day a spark of color, a dash of flavor/flavour.

And you know what?  That’s something to smile about.

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My little upside down world is going to right itself

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It’s now the afternoon of a fantastically beautiful day.  I’ve showered, am about to get ready for what should be a rowdy night on the town.  Yeah – hopefully it will be fun.  I had an offer to stay in tonight but there’s something soothing about losing yourself in a crowd.   As you slowly work yourself into the center of attention you are no longer the lost little girl whose younger brother disappeared from her life, you are no longer the lost little girl with no older brothers to turn to, you are no longer the lost little girl who feels more and more lonely every day despite your ever growing social circle. And more than all of this?  You are no longer the ridiculous little girl who is obsessed with her weight.

The International Student Adviser suggested I go home for the winter break.  [insert look of death]  I told her I didn’t think I wanted to.  I haven’t booked my ticket home.  I haven’t put my room up for hire and I haven’t even looked at a calendar to see how many weeks until I COULD go home.  I don’t care.  Yes that’s right.  Daisy – the girl who had a 16 week countdown last semester and couldn’t WAIT to get home now doesn’t care.

The counselor argued “Yeah but what about your family?”  Well I talk to my mom or dad every day or every other day but if I go home I have to face the fact that recently my brothers chose to exclude me from their lives – going home HURTS.  She counters, “Right but you have such a solid support group there.”  Well yeah sure I have friends there but I keep in touch with some of them here.  And as far as going to parties – I can do that here or there.  She tries again, “But the weather here will be terrible.  It will rain almost every day.  It’s only for a month or two.  Go home and recharge.”  haha!  Nice try.  I don’t mind the rain.  In fact, the rain quite suits me as of late.

Then she stabs me in the heart.  “But what about your dogs?”

DARN DARN DARN DARN DARN DARN IT!  And that’s when I realize I’ve completely lost myself.  What is going on?  What is my problem?  What happened to me?  I should be COUNTING DOWN the very days until I can see them again.

My heart received the biggest jolt.  My reality shaken.

Suddenly I could HEAR everything she was trying to tell me.  Yes, yes.   There IS something wrong.  Yes – there is a problem.  It’s been going on for a year now.  And yes, when my brothers walked out of my life it got significantly worse.  So YES I will go see your other counselor even though I don’t want to.  And YES I will go see that other Dr who is not going to like what I tell him.  Yes I will read your stupid packet of information.  Yes I will keep a journal of stupid things that I DO NOT WANT TO KEEP TRACK of for you.  And finally yes I will see you in a week, and another week, and another week.

And though I slightly resent it, yes I will get better.

And it is at this point that I realize my dogs have once again saved me from myself.

The Intellectualiz-ation of Emoticons

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Ok ok – so sometimes I like to make up words.  For example: “Intellectualiz-ation” – NOT a proper variation of the word “intellectualize” (hence the “-” in the middle of the word) but you know what?  I like it despite the fact.

Ok on to the most IMPORTANT-est ;) things for today – well for right now.  I was flipping through my text book to waste time (I am an amazing time-waster ) and I found this:

EMOTICONS: NON-VERBAL SIGNS ON THE COMPUTER

And I was like, “Say whaaat?  My textbook has a section on EMOTICONS??”  THEN I was like, “omgosh – no way!  I LOVE emoticons!” And THEN I decided that my textbook and I must have been fated to each other.  ;) And THEN I decided to read the whole 1.5 paragraphs on emoticons.  And THEN I looked at the handy chart they put in my textbook.  and NOW I’m wondering why I keep saying “and THEN.” ?? oh well.

So according to my book emoticons are really important.  HAHA!  I KNEW IT!  When I created the tag, “Emoticons make me happy” ages ago I KNEW it was because emoticons are SO IMPORTANT-est-ish.  :D You see, “Emoticons are a way of denoting emotion when communicating on the internet,” because “when communicating via the computer, we cannot hear voice inflection, nor can we see the funny, naughty or sad emotions of people’s faces.”

YES MY TEXTBOOK USED THE WORD NAUGHTY!  :) heehee – LUV it!!

Please enjoy the “Emoticon Dictionary” from Mohan:
:-* = kiss
:-X = lips are sealed :-| = indifferent
:’( = crying
0:-) = angel
:-> = biting sarcastic smile (lol – doesn’t look sarcastic to me!)
:-0 = Oh!
>;-> = devilsh wink

Oh my – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And here are a couple extra fun ones for you. Your homework is to decide what THESE mean. haha!  And yes – yes I DID put a dancing chewbacca, Mr. T, beyonce, ninja and zorro emoticon on my blog.
IgnoringLoserSarcastic ClapBeyonceBoratDancing ChewbaccaMr T 2Ninja TraineeSumo WrestlerZorro

Goals vs. Direction & SYTYCD Slideshow – YAY!!!

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Having goals and having direction in life are not one-in-the-same.  I am GREAT at making, working toward, and achieving goals.  But direction?  Well THAT my friends is an entirely different matter.  In THAT particular realm of existence, I have none.

I could recite some scholarly psychological reasons for my lack of direction, I could offer some heart-wrenching excuses – but the fact of the matter is – doing such will not get me any closer to finding my life’s compass than I was before.  And this is a very big problem.

I began my Australian journey long before I had ever considered Sydney as a place to live.  It began with a sense of unrest.  An unspoken yet annoyingly nagging feeling that I needed to be somewhere else, doing something else.  I didn’t know where, I didn’t know what, I didn’t know why or how.  I only knew that 1. change was necessary, 2. it needed to be big, and 3. it needed to be international.

Other than this my only main life goals were a post-graduate education and hopefully a job doing something I enjoy.  So that was it.  I tried to envision a more concrete “5 year plan” like WHAT I should major in or WHAT I would like to do as a career but I didn’t even know if I liked sushi, or what was my favorite flavor of gelato!  Not that this mattered – the point was I had no idea what I wanted.  It seems a funny thing happens when the unexpected becomes the goal – suddenly it becomes very difficult to want or plan anything – those wants or plans can’t be “unexpected” if they’re planned can they?

So I strolled along the avenues of my life, searching for open doors to take me from my street into a world unknown.  I figured eventually I’d discover a path and it would just “work out.”  When I found the door to Australia open, I ran inside and locked the door behind me.  No turning back.

INTERMISSION:  I’ve decided to fulfill my promise and post pics from SYTYCD!!!  Be warned – they’re pretty flippin amazing ;) – though the end of the slideshow got a little messed up – but hey – c’est la vie.

Ok – back to it.  There was just one little problem – I still had no idea what I was going to do.  I only knew WHERE I was going to do “it.”  I had reached my “goal” – big, international change with a bonus helping of post-graduate education – but I had no direction.  Peace and Conflict seemed a noble and worthwhile goal – until I discovered that the walls of that hallway were painted with hypocrisy, agendas, and lack of structure.

I backed out of that one and thought “Hmm – Digital Communication sounds nice.  Digital IS the way of the future and communication is my thing.”  But today as I was doing my research I was told DO NOT MAJOR IN ANYTHING COMMUNICATION- or at least not if you have to pay for it.  My source was quite reputable, he recently retired from being the President of a broadcasting company.  His opinion is that my degree would be the worst investment and biggest waste of money ever.  How’s that for reassuring?

MINI BREAK :) Here is a clip from the show … watch for us on the lefthand balcony of the stage.  :) This was my fave performance and you can totally see us!!!  Here is Gianne and BJ.  (skip to like 1 minute in to avoid the boring talking part.)

And now I’m left wondering what the use of goals are if you have no direction.  And though of course, indirectly, the whole purpose of this “unexpected” thing was to discover my unexpected but entirely desirable “direction in life” – but I fear I’m as far away from that goal as I ever have been.

I guess the good news is that along the way I’ve learned some pretty amazing things and revived a few old goals – like the whole R word which leads to the L word which leads to the M word (shudder) I didn’t have that in the 5, 10 OR 20 year plan – NOW – well … I am still not planning on it – but I definitely wouldn’t mind considering it.

WHICH BTW – The FM gave me a spreadsheet-ish breakdown of the differences between a DB (like Captain Charisma or U.D.B.) and a nice guy (like the dude from the party on Sunday or potentially CC+4 or Ben but since FM hasn’t met those boys he isn’t willing to call them nice yet.)  SO I will post the differences tomorrow.  :)

As well as my view of boys who use emoticons.

AND TO MAKE THIS THE LONGEST POST IN THE WORLD (not so large exaggeration) here’s a sucky one in which we are in MOST of …  Talia and Emmanuel (skip like before …)

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Roses are sometimes red

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Want to know what I haven’t done for awhile?  Post my awesome emoticons!  But it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow and I think that warrants some major emoticon love!  And yes – it DOES kinda look like cupid threw up all over my blog.  But too bad so sad!  It’s Valentine’s Day – deal with it.  )

Blowing Kiss 5 Blowing Kisses 3Kiss 2Kiss 3Kiss 4Kiss 8Kissing HandLips 2CupidValentines Day 2Be MineCandlelit DinnerCloud 9Heart 2Heart 3Heart 4Hearts 2I Love You 2

Ah but my favorite one…  it’s called “go get a room.”

Get A Room

Just teasing!!!  My favorite one is this:

Love Eyed 3

HAHA!  lol.  No for REAL my fave is simply:

Valentines Day 2

Oh and THANK YOU to Dave from CafeDave because he sent me a link to find popcorn in Sydney.  YAY!!!  I’m sooooo excited!!

Ooh – it’s late.  I totally should be asleep right now – I have school tomorrow.  On Saturday.  I have school on Saturday – LAME!  And double lame because it’s Valentine’s Day!  Ah well – it’ll keep me distracted from the fact that MY sweethearts (which are none other than my adorable dogs Duchess and Chloe – aw – they’re so cute!!!!) AND any potential Valentine (like CC+4, Adorable Boy or Glitter Boy) are all 8,000+ miles away.

So I’m going to sign off for the night – tomorrow I’ll have to tell you about the crazy movie I saw, the yummy popcorn I ate ;) and maybe I’ll even tell you about the new kindred spirit I’ve discovered (would you ever have guessed it’s one of guys who used to be one of the slackers in my group at school?)  lol.

Good night!  Or maybe I should say, “Good morning!!”  xoxo ~Daisy

The Farmer Wants A Wife

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My FM and his GF are determined to break me.  That’s not very nice is it?  NO!  How are they doing it?  With SYTYCD.  I gave up TV 2 years ago – completely gave it up.  GONE!  But they’re roping me back into mind-numbing passivity with So You Think You Can Dance Australia.  And now that we’re going to the show next Friday I feel compelled to watch – darn them!

Tonight I decided to give it a go but it was so boring I was also working on my laptop and totally on purpose accidentally pressed the “PR” button (PR?? wt h.e.double?) on the remote and my TV magically changed to the show “The Farmer Wants A Wife.”  OMGOSH – where has this show been all of my life?

And why am I not one of the girls competing? ;)

It’s no secret that I had R.A.D.D. (and the reason this post gets the “Why my parents should be proud of me” tag is because I made that last sentence past tense.  ))  And it’s no secret that one of my blog categories is : “The L and M words – oh and the R word – are all dumb.”  AND it MAY or may not be true that one time I kinda sorta was asked to write a 1 sentence summary of the romance novel that I was going to write and I read the following in front of the entire class.  Oh and btw – I wasn’t trying to be funny either – this was actually my great idea:

X and Y meet and fall in love, but it is doomed to tragedy when X’s family murders Y.

Well that was a showstopper!  And I wonder why I’m not forgettable …

Anyway … even though my attitude has done a 180 with regard to the L, M and R words and I don’t think they’re dumb anymore – I still find it surprising to see people so full on about it.  Why are they chasing love?  Is it worth chasing?

I think maybe it is.  And I also think maybe I’ve been listening to that 1, 2, 3, 4 song by the Plain White Ts too much!  lol.

But back to the show.  These people have their lives in order.  They know what they want and they’re full on going after it.  And yes the whole idea of finding love that way -  is absolutely ridiculous - but isn’t it also a bit inspiring intriguing?”   These people believe in LOVE – in sparks – in chemistry – and they’re not afraid of it. They’re not afraid to be like – I WANT to get married and yeah I just met you but I like you and want to see where this goes.  AND because the M word (shudder ;)) is the immediate goal they aren’t just looking for a good time – they’re looking for a LONG time.   They’re FARMERS for crying out loud – they don’t care about looks or style. They’re looking for SUBSTANCE.  And that’s insane!  But at the same time – I think I’m hooked!  It will be my little indulgence emotional research – yeah research.

The Farmer Wants a Wife will sooooo be on the agenda next week.

Oh and cross your fingers for me – I’m supposed to hear back about my application TODAY.  The lady all but gave me a solemn promise that Thursday would be the day!!!  But promises schmomises – I’ve heard that before.  ( Oh well – it wouldn’t be THAT bad to go home for a few months while I wait for next semester … and I do keep saying that things happen for a reason – so either way – I’ll take it in stride with a smile.  )

Oh but if going home for a couple months means I miss any episodes of “The Farmer Wants a Wife” … we could have some trouble.  ;)

My Australian Story Part 3 – Our Dance

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Do you ever feel like you need a week to just catch up on life?  Things have been so crazy hectic for me the past couple weeks – I feel like I’m behind on everything – including just THINKING!  I have been so busy I’ve barely had time to think!!  I keep wondering when things are going to slow down – get back to “normal” – but my life is just go-go-go.  I don’t see it changing either – I start an intensive summer school course in 2 days and then a new semester so yeah … But this is NOT a complaint.  I’m happy to be busy – I’m just a little surprised I guess.  )

So if you missed the background of “My Australian Story” you can click on the following links to catch up.  )

Where did I leave off?  Oh yes.  We locked eyes in the crowd and then he disappeared.

I was totally ok with it.  Say what?  It may surprise you to learn that I didn’t mind losing him in the crowd but I was in VEGAS of all places – not my ideal place to meet men (no matter how much electricity our gaze may have held.)  But then as I was weaving through a different crowd our eyes met again and my resolve to be stubborn weakened.  He was keeping me in sight – and I liked it.  And there was just something about him…

An exasperated Sheryl grabbed my arm and literally pulled me onto the dance floor.  She said we had to dance to give him the chance to find us.  I resisted.  We were in VEGAS!!  What was the point?

A very drunk Australian came over and tried to dance up on us.  His accent was so heavy.  I told Sheryl he was probably faking it.  LOL!  I ignored the Aussie until Sheryl grabbed me again and said, “What is wrong with you?  This guy is with your boy!  They’re from Australia and are just passing through Vegas for the night.”  Oh roll my eyes!  My already not-going-to-happen Vegas fling just turned into impossible.  He’s from another country?  Now there’s REALLY no point!!  (Btw – this was a year ago ok?  D I am not quite as negative now.  lol.)

And then there he was introducing himself to me, “Hi I’m Dave.”  Choke – cough!  Please he did NOT just say his name was Dave!!!  I hid my laughter.  It figures that would be his name.  Want to know how many Daves I’ve dated?  Too many.

We started talking.  Really talking.  His dating resume was impressive – intelligent, hot, fit, world traveler, ambitious etc.  He really WAS too good to be true – except there he was in front of me and it WAS the truth.

When he tried to kiss me 2 hours later I turned my cheek.   He didn’t give up.  I let him kiss me on the eighth attempt.

Oh if I could only describe the butterflies in my stomach and the smile on my face.  I tried to fight it … but there is no escaping your fate once you are on the right path.  We had to meet.  I had to meet him.  That chance encounter – the dance – the kiss … they were the pebbles tossed into the glass lake of my life whose ripples changed everything.

I spent 5 hours with him.  The chemistry was amazing.  The conversation was amazing.  We clicked.  And when we said goodbye he said the one thing I never expected.  “I WILL see you again.”

What?  How?  He was going back to Australia in a couple hours.  But he looked me directly in the eyes and said it again, “I WILL see you again.”  And as I walked away from him I believed it.  I didn’t know how it would happen – I didn’t know how the whole night had even happened.  But looking at him – those eyes – I knew he meant it.

In the air …

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Right about now I’m flying over the pacific ocean (and last week I was cruising over it – crazy!!)

I don’t talk about my past a lot. In fact, I don’t really talk about it at all. But the cruise last week – the cruise I knew I needed to be on – it helped me open up a bit. I talked to CC+4 and my new friend Bobcat about my past. It was good for me to remember the things I try and forget. I’ve distanced myself enough from my past that now I can look back and say “Wow. Look what I overcame. Wow. Look what I’ve created for myself against all odds.” And you know what? I’m proud of myself. I’m a far cry from where I wish I were. There are many choices I would go back and make differently if I could – but where I’m at – despite the arduous, traumatic and extremely painful journey to get here – feels good.

I have a great life. I live in Sydney, Australia of all places and I meet amazing and cool people on a continual basis. And I am happy. I’m happy despite it all. And that is what I’m most proud of – the fact that I took control of my life and attitude and despite every negative – every trial – every pain – I chose happiness. And you know what? Happiness is NOT the easiest choice. Believe me – it’s much easier to allow your trials to consume you. I have lived nightmares and at times I didn’t think I’d live through them – times I prayed I wouldn’t live through them. But I did. And now I’m stronger. I overcame them – and now I’m here creating my destiny, trying to find the path fate has in store for me.

My most recent chapter? 2009. Already an unexpected cruise and a whole lot of “I don’t know” up in the air.

My unexpected cruise crush CC+4 dropped me off at the airport. I’m soooo glad he did. He’s adorable and I am happy I got to spend every extra minute with him.

And now I’m off to the next great adventure and chapter in my life. One chapter at a time, I’m slowly creating a life which is absolutely unexpected yet completely desirable.   I have no idea what’s coming next – but I hope it includes him again – if at least only for a bit.

He talked about visiting me in Australia soon … I fully support that idea.